Thursday, September 01, 2005

Peekaboo

Tell me the truth. Am I invisible? I am starting to think that I must be. There have been incidents recently that lead me to believe that people cannot see me or my bright red car. Driving home tonight a car made a suicide left turn into my lane as I am flying down Cahuenga. This caused a pure Fred Flintstone foot through the floor panel moment mashing the brakes, cursing like a drunken teamster and honking the horn wishing it was a laser cannon. Best of all, there was no one behind me. For blocks. Literally. This ass clown couldn't wait for me to pass, she had to dart out into my lane and make me almost wet my pants. The car is bright fucking red.....puhleeeze. Remove head from ass, loser. This was the second or third type of near miss this week. Now that I commute farther and into the less affluent area of LA that is Hollywood, I imagine that I will see more and more of this type of poor driving judgment. Times like this make me wish I had my Durango still.

The other evidence that I have of my invisibility are two human collisions at Target in Hollywood. The first was actually with a shopping cart and to the drivers credit she was an older lady that couldn't steer her cart so I will cut her a tad of lack. Blind-eyed bitch. But nothing tops the third world myopic mama-san in the DVD section who had to be Helen Keller's identical twin. I am pursuing the titles standing there big as day in a bright gray T-shirt when this whore bag scrapes up against me with her cart and then her hip or big ass as she goes by and doesn't say a fucking word. I so wanted to yell at her "I guess at 6 feet 7 inches and 250 pounds I was kind of hard to see just standing there!" Her basket changing course by 15 degrees could have been a tip off as well. I am not sure which pisses me off more, people being oblivious to others in public places or my self restraint in-not unleashing hell on their stupid asses!

Anyway, let me know if you can hear me but can't see me. And I get the whole thing about how phones work so that doesn't count.