Saturday, July 09, 2005


I cannot remember being happier than I have been for the past three weeks with the exception of my wedding day and the birth of our children. It is because my professional life has been greatly upgraded by my new job. I had a good first week and so far it is living up to my expectations.

I had not realized how much despising one person at my previous job was bringing me down. Ok.....I really did know that this person was making me crazy, but I was trying to live with it in spite of his deficiencies. (I know that you should not blog about work, but I don't work there anymore and this person is one bridge that I will never ever want to cross again. So if it burns, it burns.)

At my going away party, my VP said that the thing he will remember about me is that I am always smiling. My reaction when he said this to a room full of co-workers was surprise and then acceptance. I guess its true that when I am walking around the office engaging people I try to be friendly and smile. But I am one moody SOB as many can attest to and it took me a moment to wrap my arms around this concept. Of course this happened in a split-second, and beyond an aw-shucks grin, no one in the room was the wiser. But the thought has stuck with me. In my soul I want to be happy and pleasant and kind. I was raised to be polite and respectful. Being a normal adolescent, I went through periods of awkwardness and wanting people to like me. I still do to a point.

As I start this new journey in my life I feel a sense of balance that I have rarely known. I have a wonderful wife and three great children that I love to spend time with. Being a provider for them and the life I live is all for them. With this new job I am released from the stress and responsibilities that seven years in the same place induce. I am working with technology still but now with a sports theme. The money is great and the people so far are grateful to have me. I can't think of a better place for me to be. And I am happy. Personally, professionally, and emotionally. For someone who has gone through depression and stress and an irritable stomach, it feels great to be in the place that I am in my life. We all do what we need to do to survive and change can be scary, but I have learned that if something is slowing eating away you, as hard as it may be, you need to change it. And the best part of change is that if you make a mistake and the change is for the worse, you can always make another change.