Tuesday, June 21, 2005

Going Hollywood

Most of my readers (all five of you) know that I accepted a position with ESPN last week to be a one man IT department for a new show launching on ESPN2 called ESPN Hollywood. Coincidently or not, this was the day after that it was announced that John Madden would be leaving ABC after the 2005 football season. Now, I would NEVER jump to conclusions but you do the math:

1. I am a huge Oakland Raiders fan
2. I have played lots video football in my life time
3. I have the rolly-polly tummy (not as big as John's but I am working on it)
4. I love to fly. Oops, I love bus rides....eh
5. I served a Turduckhen at Thanksgiving two years ago

It's not official yet, but with these credentials I am sure that they are grooming me for the number one team. Al Michaels better not try to hog the mike!

Friday, June 03, 2005

Get Some

As an admitted chocoholic I found this quite funny. Credit to Ray Owens' Joke A Day -- Making Fun Of Morons Since 1863

Why chocolate is better than sex:

You can GET chocolate

"If you love me you'll swallow that" has real meaning

Chocolate satisfies even when it has gone soft

You can safely have chocolate while you are driving

You can make chocolate last as long as you want it to

You can have chocolate even in front of your mother

If you bite the nuts too hard the chocolate won't mind

Two people of the same sex can have chocolate without being called nasty names

The word "commitment" doesn't scare off chocolate

You can have chocolate on top of your workbench/desk during working hours without upsetting your co-workers

You can ask a stranger for chocolate without getting your face slapped

You don't get hairs in your mouth with chocolate

With chocolate there's no need to fake it

Chocolate doesn't make you pregnant

You can have chocolate at any time of the month

Good chocolate is easy to find

You can have as many kinds of chocolate as you can handle

You are never too young or too old for chocolate

When you have chocolate it does not keep your neighbors awake

With chocolate size doesn't matter